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When the word ‘airport’ pops up anywhere, things that should come to mind are planes, travel, and unlimited opportunities. But yet what we really know is that airports are crowded, uncomfortable, and expensive. Buying a ticket on a plane is like buying a possible death sentence. Seriously, what do you think happened in Lost and Castaway? I know they didn’t just ‘happen’ to wander around and ended up talking to a volleyball or get continually chased by a smoke monster.
And you always have to keep a straight face when walking around. If you’re too overly happy, then they think you’re on drugs, but if you look to serious, then they think you’re carrying a weapon. This is a free country, if I can fit my machete in my carry-on luggage, then I should be able to bring it on the plane. You think it’s ridiculous now, but when the plane crashes and we have no supplies, then you’ll be happy that I brought a weapon to chase away the smoke. But in all seriousness, I should be able to say, “This ham and cheese panini is the bomb,” and not be searched by 5 TSA officers. I am a 15 year old, 6 foot tall ginger. I would be the worst candidate for a drug mule. Authority figures scare me enough already! I’m sure if I was carrying something illegal and I walked past a police officer, even if he just glanced at me, I would burst into tears and put on the handcuffs myself.
And you always have to keep a straight face when walking around. If you’re too overly happy, then they think you’re on drugs, but if you look to serious, then they think you’re carrying a weapon. This is a free country, if I can fit my machete in my carry-on luggage, then I should be able to bring it on the plane. You think it’s ridiculous now, but when the plane crashes and we have no supplies, then you’ll be happy that I brought a weapon to chase away the smoke. But in all seriousness, I should be able to say, “This ham and cheese panini is the bomb,” and not be searched by 5 TSA officers. I am a 15 year old, 6 foot tall ginger. I would be the worst candidate for a drug mule. Authority figures scare me enough already! I’m sure if I was carrying something illegal and I walked past a police officer, even if he just glanced at me, I would burst into tears and put on the handcuffs myself.
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And what about airplane food, am I right? I’m sorry, I just had to include that somewhere. But, airplanes themselves are no fun either. You’re confined into a tight, little seat until the 2+ hour flight is over. The flight attendants don’t even look like they want to be there either! I know people will say, “But the flight attendants are always so happy to see me-“NO! That’s just a mask they wear during the day to hide their self-hatred. You’re not going to be happy if you are trapped in a flying, metal death bird for the majority of your life either. Your ears are always popping, and you probably get claustrophobia after a while. But notice that every airline says that ‘their client’s safety always comes first’, yet the flight attendants are pretty much glued to the seat with their cross-body seatbelt armor while the rest of us have to use a flimsy piece of string with metal taped to it to secure ourselves. Looks like I’m going to have to wait another year for teleportation…
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Here, I'll just get straight to the point by giving you today's wacky website...